Seeker of Power

Isn't it sad, tragic and utterly hypnotic when you look back at your existence and you realize it really doesn't amount to anything? Back in the day, we were all very positive about life, passionate about our dreams, and just too naive to admit that life is hard. No, life is difficult. Life is more likely to be bitter in spite of little granules of happiness we add to it every so often. Well, at least for me. It gets even worse when you don't have power.

Power comes in many forms and shapes. There's the delegated authority which you have given to that man rolling in chevrolet down the street when you have decided you are nationalistic enough to vote. We also have social class, the most obvious and abused power time and again. We see it in school, in the office or in a gathering and it permeates during little occasions such as when your professor chooses the class leader just because s/he is wearing Dolce and Gabbana. Power can also be seen in personal or group charisma which is exactly the same reason we discriminate against less agreeable personalities; the reason why we taunt Aling Dionisia so much; the reason why Beauty gets to act the lead role all the time. There's also that power in expertise best described by mentioning professionals such as your doctors, lawyers or laundry lady. There are more kinds of power. Power in persuasion be it direct, indirect, or subliminal, in knowledge, in money, in fame, in force, in moral persuasion, in social influence of tradition and in relationships (it's either your dominant, or submissive).

Our very place in the world is defined by the complex often invisible play of these powers. And every day, each and everyone of us battles against each other to have more powers. One doesn't stop seeking for more powers that's why one is brushing up on his/her English, that's why one is putting those make-up on, that's why one wants to ace that exam or go sycophant over one's professor. But unwittingly, the easiest power one can get is the one bestowed by one's parents or family: money and social class. I don't know how it feels like to have that kind power... yet. It must be very overwhelming, and thrilling, and poetic. But I wasn't lucky enough to be born of parents who are hungry for power. It was the other way around. They hated power so much they rid the house of jewels and gems and replaced it with cobblestones.

I could think of thousands of instances where I felt so weak, powerless and awkward. I could have made better decisions, better effects, better results had I been more powerful yet there's no reason to be backward, to censure or to condemn. Whatever happened to my other powers but knowledge and expertise, I blame to destiny. Decisions define the downturn or success of each and everyone, of every company, or relationships. Here is a time when making a decision is rendered hard by the imminent mishmash of power inside and out. I can't handle this big of an energy field. Maybe I should keep a malleable mind in order to get through this large ball of Questionland enveloping this room. The very core of which is, what path will obtain for me much greater power.

On Burning Bridges

The clock is ticking and I should be sleeping. God knows how busy I have been the past days. That has been my plan of course to somehow forget you, all about you, everything we've ever shared, every story we've ever made. The first few days proved to be challenging. It's usual, it's given. No one can beat a habit too easily especially if that habit has been there for a little over three years. And that habit is you, sadly, fortunately, maybe.

It's funny how everything could easily almost automatically remind me of you: fishball sticks left by the trash bin, cigarette butts along the way, words candidly spoken by friends, order of a lady next to me in a restaurant or fast food chain. I made myself busy because I needed it not because I wanted it; because I know that I would make myself more vulnerable if I don't. I know I might not be able to save you but I have to save what's left of my self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem which were all tremendously affected when you left in ways you couldn't imagine. You told me I am strong just because I live with, by and for myself. But love is a different battlefield altogether and I certainly was not trained for it.

I'm tired of being busy. I have been juggling everything on my own for the better half of my college life. It was always been a wonder for me how I managed to keep a full-time job, have a normal load for a sem, and still sustain an 'active' relationship. I never really knew the answer until lately. It was because I forgot all about myself in the process. Weight fluctuated, tummy inflated, skin looked bad, college days extended and a dozen other things I am not particularly proud about. I need a rest. I need to slow down. I need to re-focus. But I don't think I want to, being the hyperactive person that I am. I thrive from people's energy that's why I want to be surrounded by people all the time but I don't think I should be going out more often. The world is cruel and honest and another rejection would surely hurt.

Lately I've been spending more time alone and the more I think about you, the more I remember how much I miss you. It probably doesn't mean anything to you, but I mean it. When I am left with nothing to do or when I am aboard a bus, I always ask myself series of questions. One question leads to the other. Questions that are best posted on you. What if I had fought for you? What if I were more steadfast and vigilant and strong? What if I trusted you more? But I guess there is no point fighting for someone who doesn't even care about you anymore. What I'm trying to say is, I think I still love you and I don't want it to turn into hate but you're helping me turn it into indifference and with that I thank you.

When I feel a lot better, when I've mustered all the strength and reasons to keep fighting, I will knock at your door to give you a hug and thank you. I am expecting you to still be there and I hope you are still as forthcoming as before. But right now? I'm still not at my best and there are a bunch of things that have to be done for me to be back on track. It's OK. My friends will help me get by.

Movie Review: 'Drag Me To Hell'

Never have I raised more hairs while watching a movie than I did with Sam Raimi's “Drag Me To Hell”. He succeeded in dragging the audiences but still being true to his promise of humor-horror hybrid, at least to me, by bringing them to the hell and heaven of jawdropping camera works to effectively throw anyone off their seats and the heart-pounding sounds that come with it to elicit more intensed grabbing of the heart while reading this horror film.

It was a good decision to watch the movie alone lest I wanted to summon cuss-outs from the moviegoers when I start howling high-pitched and verbalizing knee-jerk reactions over old-Gypsy-lady yellowish disgusting drool, eyes popping out of maggot-filled cake, embalming fluid gushing out of a corpse’s mouth and an array of a thousand decibel effective sound effects/score accompanying dark sequences. I would never ever see indoor parking lots the same way again. This film had raised the bar so high I think it'll be virtually impossible to surpass the disturbance and much churning conjured by the parking lot sequence by any horror film in the next, maybe two to five years.

However, I don't feel strongly about casting Alison Lohman as Christine Brown, the protagonist. Jennifer Carpenter might just have delivered it better. But Lohman is OK. I can live with that. Also, the coin and button pay-off is just too predictable, but not to the average viewer I guess. Moreover, the CG effects on the last sequence looks cheap. They might have done something 'lil bit better about that last sequence. Something more invigorating to make people stand up and give a warm applause just in time before they see the end credits.

Over-all, the film is thrilling in both ends and in most of the parts in the middle. It kept me hanging on there, clasping my hands together and grabbing it near to my heart to muffle the intensed pounding with my mouth wide open (this time to something other than that) in awe and anxiety. The energy I've lost controlling my tendency to have screaming chasm going on is equivalent to riding roller coaster ten times. This film definitely gave me a deep wanting to watch “Evil Dead 2” or its follow-up “Army of Darkness” which supposed to be in equal footing, if not higher with this newly-released film starring Lorna Raver – truly a raver – Alison Lohman and Justin Long.

And the good thing about watching this film is I've only paid one peso. Thanks to free movie passes given during a recent jobhunting.

The piano I didn't lay hands on

Walking past through the new atrium that was being put into life at the Megamall one lonely afternoon a week before the Christmas season, an inviting crisp melody and rhythm got me summoned to where an old lady, maybe in her 70s, sat - in front of a sleek black piano. It was a marketing or advertising strategy because from where she sat, a red-covered carpetty platform read Compliments of Anson's (or whatever it was who was trying to sell pianos, I can vaguely remember). Whatever it was, point is I loved what I was hearing and I enjoyed watching the ol' lady's callous fingers paw through the black and white keys.

She didn't have notes in front of her, but she played a medley of lovely wonderful nostalgic songs which even made one of the audience sing as she played 'The Prayer" - the man's voice was A-OK, I was just taken aback, surprised, when I see him singing as if he were in a stage and a cladful of fans are watching. No, he's not the star. The old lady is. He just thinks he is a rock star or something (I could still remember how he covered his ear with his right hand and how he tilted his head and close his eyes to sing. Ha-Ha. So funny). Anyway, the old lady, for a moment, I thought of waiting for her shift to end and have her sign an autograph. I became an instant fan, of the lady or the piano? I can't tell. But my eyes got droopier and droopier while she showed her tricks on her sleeves so after hearing about six of her pieces, I walked out. But as I did, my ears were closely paying attention to the sound of the piano.

She reminded me of the old piano which used to sit on our sala when I was about 6 or 5 which disappeared one day without us knowing. Turned out my dad sold it out for a few thousands. What if my dad didn't sell it out? What if all the days of my childhood were spent in that piece of wood packed with strings instead of playing with kids from the nearby village? Maybe I've taken a different path, acquired (or learned) a new talent and maybe even took a different degree program altogether. You see I love dancing, but it's just that while I was there standing, watching her play the piano, there was a feeling of elation. It's like there is someone or something that is telling me I should be doing that too. I want to learn to play the piano. And it's not something that just came through me and would eventually go away. I mean it. Piano's now may cause thick wad of money. But somehow, I could find a way to feed this hunger, or calm this itch. I know what I want. I am not a whim.

So close to being gifted, really close

If any, the test proved that I really am not good in math but that may be caused by the fact that I haven't really played with numbers and formulas the past years.

Full analytical report for Michael Mercado

Please bookmark this page; it will be available online for two weeks. You may also print a copy of each section for your records.

General statistics

Total number of questions: 30
Questions answered: 30
Questions not answered: 0
Questions answered correctly: 26
Questions answered incorrectly: 4
Percentage correct answers: 86 %

Your age adjusted IQ score is 129 and the average score for all test takers is 100.

Your Grade ** Above Average **

Well done! Your performance on the test was well above the population average which means that you have the ability to achieve success in life. Typically, people with scores in this range can see logic in their surroundings and perform very well academically. You like to conceptualize ideas and gather your own information which means that you have the brains to go far. You should be able to handle all academic challenges and if you think of intelligence as an ability to adapt adequately to new situations then you are heading in the right direction.

Standard Deviation: 15

The bell curve (also called a "normal curve" or "normal distribution") is a graph that shows approximately how much of the population falls into each IQ range. In theory, if we tested everyone in the world with a traditional IQ test, most people would score in the "Average" range. A smaller number would score moderately below average and moderately above average. Very high and very low scores are rare.

The scores and percentiles above apply to tests that have a standard deviation of 15 points. The Stanford Binet Fourth Edition (Binet FE) has a standard deviation of 16 and the Wechsler scales (such as the WPPSI-R, the WISC-III, and the WAIS-III) have a standard deviation of 15. Therefore, for different scales the percentages may vary.
Click here to convert your score to the Cattell and Stanford-Binet scale.

Grade Statistics

Grade	Range	Percent
Genius	>144	0.13%
Gifted	130-144	2.14%
Above average	115-129	13.59%
Higher average	100-114	34.13%
Lower average	85-99	34.13%
Below average	70-84	13.59%
Borderline low	55-69	2.14%
Low	<55	0.13%

Mental abilities have the highest correlation with general intelligence of all objectively measurable abilities and they are the primary focus of this test. Furthermore the mental abilities targeted for measurement were specifically chosen because they have been shown to correlate highly with many other abilities. The graphs below show how you scored in various abilities such as pattern recognition and logical reasoning - skills which are all reliable predictors of academic achievement.

Graphical representation of intelligence scores.

Intelligence score chart Verbal Mathematics Spatial Logic Pattern Recognition General Knowledge Short Term Memory Visualization Classification

Percentiles chart Verbal Mathematics Spatial Logic Pattern Recognition General Knowledge Short Term Memory Visualization Classification

Strengths and weaknesses

Your highest score was in Pattern Recognition

Exceptional intelligence does not guarantee results -- to achieve excellence you must fully understand your strengths and learn to maximize your efforts. Knowing your greatest intellectual strength may give you insight into how you can improve your learning process, work better with others, or become more self aware of your abilities. According to this test your pattern recognition skills are the most developed of all your intellectual capabilities - your capability to match and anticipate patterns is your biggest strength.

Your lowest score was in Mathematics

Weaknesses are the roadblocks we face when trying to achieve our goals. Awareness of your weaknesses allows you to predict problems and find solutions ahead of time, thereby alleviating future headaches. According to this test your mathematical skills are the most underdeveloped of all your intellectual capabilities - your capability to use numbers effectively and to reason well is your biggest weakness.

I also love my family you know

Most online albums are composed of reunions and bondings. I could only wish I could afford to gather all my family and relatives in a feast to my envy. I guess it'll be fun to talk to people who are related to you by blood. Operative word: guess, because I haven't really experienced it. Well we had one on my mother's side back when I was still on my teenage years but that was because my aunt will tie the knot with her man and it didn't really feel as though it were a family bonding. Everyone was in total chaos trying to look good before the wedding and stuffing food down their throat after the rites.

I want to meet my cousins on my father side and see if I could measure up to their foreign tongue. Haha. Exchange of thoughts and embarrasing moments, maybe even about sexlife to really check if being libidinous runs in the family. That for me is the best new year I could ever have in a lifetime. I've been spending Xmas and New Year with my mother's family for the longest time and you know what they say, if something becomes a routine, it'll ultimately bore you.

I Didn't Really Miss New Year

My shift on January 1 was at 12 am. No loud fireworks apart from the bright sparkles I see on the glass window five minutes before my shift. No loud cheers and greets. No family. No friends. Just the lonely Avaya and headset tightly pressing my head from both ears. But it was OK. New year, I thought, are just for the loud and pyromaniacs and for our feng shui and tradition-loving folks. Besides, greenhouse effect is taking its toll on our climate pattern.

When this part of the world were welcoming new year through their fireworks maybe even guns, I was there pressing Auto In - the equivalent of your Time In in your regular work.

I took in calls for 2 hours before I took my first break. When I went downstairs, the ADB Ave. is filled with smog evidently from the fireworks and fog. Heading tp 7 11, I smelled what was left of the New Year celebration. That was how I spent the new year. I thank Bobet and Ronan and Thyssen for making my new year much brighter and far more interesting. Bobet cooked pasta and we had wine along with Zigi before I went to work. I and Zigi had to leave at 10 mins past 11, Zigi needed to go to his lola's place while I, to work.

CINEMA ONE ORIGINALS 2008 CAMPUS TOUR

Watch UPCAT (5 pm), DOSE (7 pm) and IMBURNAL (9 pm) on Nov. 20 (Thurs)
at the UP Cine Adarna

Tickets @ 65 php each.

PM me for tickets.

UPCAT

"Lucas and Joaquin are two teenage boys from the province who believe passing the UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admissions Test) is the passport to their dreams. While Joaquin's goal is to get a well-paying job and bring his OFW parents back home, Lucas wants nothing more than to win the heart of his schoolmate Jane - and perhaps her family, all of whom are UP-educated. The two seek help in reviewing from Michael, a UP Fine Arts graduate with a secret. In this light coming-of-age story, Lucas and Joaquin discover some truths about life, love, dreams and shaded circles and a little more about themselves along the way."

DOSE

In the eyes of a child, love knows no age or gender. An intriguing yet heartbreaking tale of love and romance between a gardener and a 12-year-old boy. This sensual melodrama is by award-winning writer-director Senedy H. Que.

IMBURNAL

One of the strongest contenders for the 2008 Cinema One Originals Awards this November, this is a tale of manhood that is about to erode two pubescents. While hanging out in the crevasses of Punta Dumalog, Joel and Allen both find solitary, dent their friendship and shape their orientations in life, taking about what they witness and encounter daily in their neighborhood. Slowly they are eroding their childhood and set forth their different desires towards “manhood”.

Padunungan Euphoria

We did it.
Despite the many criticisms during the pre-production along with the objections of the many alumni to the removal of some events, we remained strong and fought for what we know is best to spare us from another boooooooooooring quiz show or Padungan.
It all paid off.
This is the best Padunungan experience.
There's so much ecstasy.
I love you subol!
Yerdabes!

Superior Minds

We're done with the first day of Padunungan. The more academic side of it - quiz shows, essay and poem writing for both elementary and high school, and graphics design for both high school. It was fulfilling because at the end of the day you really could see happy faces from the winners as they put on their well-deserved medals.

Graphics design is a whole new event and I'm so glad it was a success, I must say. I envy these students for back in high school, there were none of events of this sort. People were crazy about poster-making contests so with a lousy drawing skills, I could not make it to the top.

The grueling 3 hours of trying to install the fucking Adobe Photoshop CS3 in at least 8 PC's at the computer laboratory notwithstanding. It was really frustrating. The computers were infested with various viruses, there were a lot of functions that were disabled, and worst, the OS and specs of most of their PC's doesn't sustain the requirements for installing the program. And you know what's ironic, the computers in their library are way better than the the PC's in their computer lab.

In my four years of Padunungan experience, this year's set design is the worst I had ever laid my eyes on. It's crappy and as has already been said during the meeting towards the end of the day, it was like the work of a grade school student. I truly appreciate there (Subol Baguio) efforts but I just really wish they didn't push it for the quality of work was greatly compromised. I don't know how people outside UP accept criticisms and I don't understand why they could not separate personal from professional critics. If your work is crappy, accept the fact that it is and do something about it! Don't be fuckin' too egoistic.

I've just won £750, 000 Pounds Sterling from UK National Lottery

I love email scams for they at least make you feel on top of the world even just for a moment. But once you google them, you will fall right back at your seat with a heavy thud. They are the shorter version of Juan night stands.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

UK National Lottery,
 P O Box 1010 Liverpool, 
L70 1NL UNITED KINGDOM 

WINNING PARAMETERS
Ref  : UK/786543X4/28 
Batch:2007MJL-01

Winner's name:STaN ShUnpiKe

Raffle Draw Winning Email: stan13shunpike@yahoo.com

 

Congratulations Lucky Winner,

 

Your approved winning Certificate number is  UK/9876125

Your winning Transfer Identification code is .ELPC/MWT/0143 

 

As you already know, all winners for the online version of the United Kingdom National Promo Online promotions were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from an exclusive list of 21,000 e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies listed online as part of our international promotion to promote international co-operation between the United Kingdom and other countries worldwide and I must say that you should count yourself extremely lucky to have emerged as one of our winners in this week's lucky dip sweepstakes and we do sincerely hope you will put part of your winnings into good use for community, educational and business development and also to render selfless services to the less privileged in your community.

 

 The process for claiming your winnings has been made very simple so that by the end of one week at most, you are assured of having received your cash prize of the sum of £750, 000 Pounds Sterling and all the legal documents backing your winnings. In the light of the above mentioned, you are to contact  the Agency that will be handling the transfer of your winning to you with the contact informations below:

 

 

CONTACT ALPHA SECURITY FINANCE COURIER:-

Courier Name:Alpha Security And Finance Courier Ltd.

Contact Person:Mr Steven Jones

Email Address:  alphasecurityfinancecourier@live.com

Telephone : +44 704 578 0846 

 

 Note that you are to provide the Lottery Winners Agency that will be handling the transfer of your winning with the required details below to officially identify you:

1) Winner's Full Names:
2) Present Full Address: 
3) Telephone Number:
4) Raffle Draw Winning Email:
5) Amount Won:
6) Winning Reference Number: 
7) Winning Batch Number: 
8) Winning Transfer Identification code: ELPC/MWT/0143
9) Winning Certificate Number: UK/9876125
  
 Note that there exists a periodic condition on all claims process; therefore you have limited time to claim your winnings.  Failure to claim your winnings within the stipulated time frame will lead to the forfeiture of your winnings after which your winnings remitted back to the United Kingdom National Lottery Headquarters and will then be added to next winning draws. Also kindly be aware that the United Kingdom National Lottery winning prizes are regulated by the Financial Services Authority and as a result, you are advice to follow the Lottery Claims Terms and Conditions to ensure the remittance of your prize to you within the stipulated time of the claiming of winnings.

 

 

 Lastly, I will require a concise update on your proceedings with the Agency that will be handling the transfer of your winning. If you need any assistance whatsoever from this office, please do not hesitate to inform me.

Yours Sincerely,
Dr.Peter Brown

Accredited Fiduciary Agent 
Confidentiality Notice:
   Please note that this email and any files that may be attached to it is/are confidential and is/are intended for the sole use of the individual(s) or entity (is) to which it/they is/are addressed. Any use,distribution,copying or disclosure by any other person or entity is strictly prohibited under applicable law(s).Opinions, conclusions and other information in this message that do not relate to official business of NATIONAL LOTTERY and insurance shall be understood to be neither given nor endorsed by NATIONAL LOTTERY finance and insurance when addressed to concern finance and insurance clients; and any information contained in this email is subject to the terms and conditions of the governing client's contract(s). 
 

United Kingdom National Lottery
COPYRIGHT © 1994-2008 ALL RIGHT RESERVED

UP: Second Best University in the Philippines

"QS Quacquarelli Symonds is the leading global career and education network, helping individuals fulfill their potential through fostering international mobility, educational achievement and career development. We provide the platform for educators and employers to target, meet and select the best qualified candidates from around the world."

ADMU: 254th

UP: 276th

DLSU: 415th

UST: 470th

Compared to last year's ranking, Philippine universities UP and ADMU made a big leap forward. 

Cosmopolitan Philippines’ Centerfolds 2008

Hindi ako natuwa sa Centerfold ngaung taon.

Andaming chararat.

Although andame din namang masasarap.

Pero kasi dapat walang panget bilang centerfold ito ano.

May mukhang Beast pa nga eh na uber sa pagkapanget. Shet.

Anyway, natawa ako ng bonggz dahil meron akong kapangalan: Michael Mercado. Haha.

Ang weird.

Hay.

Sa photographer ng front cover, good luck naman sa iyo. Overexposed ang katawan ni Derek.

Hindi dramatic yung lighting. We film majors could bo better, way better. Haha.

Bilang ANTM fan ay ampanget talaga niya ano bilang nasanay ang akin mata sa mga fabulosong pag-iilaw sa mga pictures na hawak ni Tyra (Go Joslyn and Sam!).

Pero OK pa din naman. 

I think masisiyahan pa din ang mga maraming utaw, belat o uding alike, sa centerfold na ito.

I love you Gaz! Ang sarap mo.